However, we are now both able to hang out again every so often, which is good news for you, the humble reader, who should soon be seeing pictures posted more often. Unless you don't like our stuff, in which case it's bad news. Sorry. There are one or two other FTP-related things that we've done which should make updating easier for us, too (and may mean you get to see Will posting on the news bit a little more often), but I won't bore you with details. Who needs details? This ain't some high level science experiment, you jerks!
So the upshot is, thanks for sticking about, or, if you're just joining us - why didn't you join us sooner? What's wrong with you? Is your internet-watch slow? Get out.
P.S. In response to the thrilling lists of things I said I'd explain on the main page, women love shoes as baby-replacements. This is why you see so many women walking around on babies. Mental.
Tom
16-09-08
Hot, crusty spunk! TWO new doodles! Possibly more things to come! I'm excited! Are you excited? GET EXCITED!
Tom
19-07-08
If, like me, you see little point in flumping out of bed, you regularly fantasise about clobbering the general public with oversized Lego bricks, and it still burns just a little when you urinate, then today's update is for you! And also everybody that this list doesn't apply to.
Tom
11-02-08
What ragged filth is this? A beloved childhood icon colliding with one of life's harsher realities? What kind of jerk would draw this?! I'll tell you: a magnificent kinda jerk.
Tom
30-01-08
Why not round off the month with a hot new update? I'll tell you why: you don't DESERVE one. Oh, what the hell. Okay. Go on then. You don't know you're born, you know.
Tom
28-01-08
Here at WFHIT?, we bloody love bears. Look at them. They're like large, incredibly muscular, exceptionally hairy and often marvellously destructive hugs on legs. They're our favourite potential killers, and they should be yours too, which is why the Doodles section should now make you choke to death on your own curdled joy.
Tom
22-01-08
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"What Fresh Hell Is This, back on form and partially sober!"
"Oh, pisstruffles."
That's right! We're back all over the internet like images that are inappropriate for boardroom meetings and funerals! Tell your friends, tell your co-workers and most importantly, tell yourselves! We'll be returning to a roughly-weekly schedule, though not necessarily Sundays. Who knows? Not us, that's for damn sure.
Tom
12-01-08
Happy New Year, Hellions! May your year be filled with slightly less scrot (unless you happen to think scrot is great, in which case we wish a bounty upon you)! There's a new Doodle up which is pretty reminiscent of what we've been doing this entire time. Take a look and then send us money and sympathy! In that order, preferably.
Also, just so you know, Will has started a blog, because that seems to be the kind of thing that all you funky hipsters and hippy funksters are doing. Check it out at your leisure - and sexy, sexy peril.
Tom
11-12-07
Today's doodle concerns a response to an argument about the existence of God similar to the Question of Evil, called the Question of Ugly. Why on earth would God create ugly people? Let's watch!
Tom
10-12-07
Ever wondered how to combine your interest in woodland animals with your interest in being a motherfryin' G? If so, do we have the Doodle for you!
Tom
09-12-07
A new Doodle up, showing that being skaggy don't mean you gots to give up the romance, baby.
Tom
04-12-07
Things have been troublesome at WFHIT? central recently. First we experienced a bunch of technical problems with the FTP engine, and now that's been resolved, we have less technical problems. As you may or may not know/care, we're each in our last years of university, and sadly this means we have to occasionally do a little work. More accurately, we're drownin', cap'n. While we love this site, it occasionally has to go onto a back-burner when it's at loggerheads with 'not failing life'. In a couple of weeks, normal updates will hopefully resume, but until then, we'll just be putting up the odd Doodle to tide you guys over. Sorry about all this, but we hope you understand.
Tom
02-12-07
We haven't been able to put today's update up yet , partially due to a technical difficulty, which will hopefully be resolved as soon as possible. Thanks for bearing with us, patient, delicious reader!
Tom
01-12-07
There's a particularly festive new doodle up, so get on over there and get seasonal, baby!
Tom
30-11-07
A new doodle is up to grace your eyes and brains. It's been designed to bring the terrible, sad messages of racism and discrimination to the kids with fresh, hot video game references that they can totally identify with! Or some such nonsense.
Tom
25-11-07
The traditional Funday update lies glistening and twinkling like a forbidden grape, just waiting for you to sink your eye-teeth into it. Have a bite!
Tom
19-11-07
A fresh new doodle spurting out at you, with probably the most viable alternative to a nationwide cull you'll see this afternoon.
Tom
18-11-07
It's still technically Sunday, and as you all know, that now means that we've just laid a fresh, steaming update in your modem. Don't thank us now - or if you do, thank us with lots of money and hookers. That seems reasonable.
Tom
13-11-07
New doodle. What would be better, a robopoet or a hobopoet? Don't decide now - we'll do it for you.
Tom
11-11-07
New comic up, in glorious technicolour! If by technicolour, you mean about eight colours. Which you should!
Tom
05-11-07
New comic up, and if you don't laugh at it, Mormons are going to come around and defecate in your plant pots.
In other news, don't forget that if you're going to be playing witgh fireworks tonight, you should take all precautions. I'm inviting all the firemen I can find to a massive shindig and there will be no-one to put you out. Enjoy!
Tom
01-11-07
Two new doodles up, and boy, are they booty-tastic!
Now, I know we've only had one update of the new schedule, so this is completely ridiculous, but I'm afraid that Sunday's update will be delayed until Monday afternoon. The reason for this is that I'll be in the Lake District, giving those lakes and hills what-for, with my feet and spit. However, the Monday update is a dead cert, and then regular Sunday updates will continue like nothing went awry at all. Trust me. Oh, go on.
Tom
28-10-07
New picture up, and if you like fists, babies or combinations of the two, you're gonna chuffing love it.
In other news, we are finally implementing a schedule. One proper update every Sunday to cram down your craws, and as many doodles a week as we feel prone to making. By which I mean 'as Will feels prone to drawing'. So watch out, everyone: this shit's about to get REGULAR.
Tom
17-10-07
Two new doodles up. They both contain the power of awesome, so if you have some sort of allergy to awesome, stay away. You may go into hyperawesomic shock.
Tom
11-10-07
Incidentally, the reason that updates are still sketchy this week is that Will doesn't actually get the internet in his swanky new pad until Saturday. After that, hopefully it'll all return to normal. Which is to say: sporadic, unpredictable updates of questionable quality. Hooray!
Tom
09-10-07
New doodle up - and it's the kind that will probably scar if you don't get it looked at.
Tom
08-10-07
New picture and several new doodles up. It's still going to be slightly sketchy for the next week, but we are definitely out of traction and back in action. How does it feel to be back in the hot seat, you ask? I'll tell you: great. Great and sweaty.
Tom
26-09-07
Wow, I really thought I'd updated it, but it turns out I just dreamed that I had. I don't know what's worse - that I can no longer distinguish reality and fantasy or that I have such exceptionally dull dreams. Either way, I'm afraid that Will is now without internet, and so updates are still on hold. I know, I know. It's a pisser. If you do keep checking back though, know that we love and and appreciate it. Enough sentiment! The vaguely unsettling comics will soon be smearing themselves all over your retinas again, I'm just not sure exactly when. Within the week, hopefully. In the meantime, why not read a book, write a play or kill off Pete Doherty once and for bloody all?
Tom
16-09-07
Okay, everyone: no updates for a week or so. You were warned, so hopefully no-one is going to jump out of a window into a chipper, but I'm aware that that's a risk of this whole situation. See you soon!
Tom
14-09-07
New picture up. I bet no-one has ever thought about supervillains in everyday situations. That's probably the most original thing ever.
Tom
14-09-07
New doodle up. If you have any sort of fish-related crime which needs solving in a dare-devil, wry manner, this fellow is the one to call.
A lot of people (or rather, a large percentage of a few people) seem to compare us to PBF, or worse, accuse us of ripping PBF off. This really confuses Will and me, to the point where we run frantically about the house, losing our hair and teeth in sheer, unadulterated bafflement. PBF is an excellent site and most amusing, but it really isn't our style at all. There are similarities, I guess, but no more than in a lot of webcomics. For a start, PBF relies mostly on a visual punchline, usually (or often) with a two-panel set-up, whereas we rely mostly on verbal humour, and the set-up (if there is one) varies a lot. There are concurrences, sometimes, in theme or style, but no more than there are between us and, say, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. Therefore I rule the PBF comparison inadmissible and fine you all a hundred boxes of Lucky Charms, which we miss.
Tom
12-09-07
New picture and doodle up. I'm pretty knackered, so I'm not sure that I've done them the right way around. You don't care though, do you? All you want is fat, juicy humour delivered direct to your brain.
WELL HERE YOU GO, JERK.
Tom
11-09-07
New picture and new doodle up. It's a coincidence that they both contain references to soft drinks. Or IS it? Maybe that's what the government wants you to believe. Fight the power!
Tom
09-09-07
New picture up. If you disagree with anything that this picture implies, you are a cad and a coward and we hate your face.
Tom
09-09-07
New doodle up, and believe me when I tell you that it's smokin'.
Tom
08-09-07
New picture up for you all to cram into your eye-holes and scream "yes! Yes! It hurts... SO GOOD!".
Or possibly smirk at briefly before going to some other website and forgetting it entirely.
Tom
07-09-07
Two new doodles up, all ready for your eyes to gaze upon and explode in delight at.
Tom
04-09-07
TWO new doodles up! THREE updates in one bloomin' day!
NUMBERS!
Tom
04-09-07
Okay, so we're all friends here, right? Right. As a result, we feel it's important to give you the low-down regarding updates. Firstly, we're very sorry for not updating more recently. Once again, internet/enjoying our holidays got in the way of more frequent updates. We've got a list of things to draw up quick-sharp though, so hopefully more should be up soon. In fact, we're hoping to get through quite a few over the next couple of weeks. Then I'm going to university, and since Will is a computer-mong, it'll probably be put on hold for a week. If it takes any longer to sort internet out, I'll just nip down to internet cafes to update. This is because I'm dedicated like a private eye on the trail of his ex-wife's killer. The transition period will begin on the 16th of September. We'll let you know more when we do. Huggles!
Tom
04-09-07
New picture up. This one will make you crumble at the knees and spurt at the heart. If it happens the other way around, consult a doctor immediately.
Tom
24-08-07
New doodle up. We've got bear to spare!
Will
20-08-07
New doodle up. Small chilren have long held that broccoli is probably bad for you, and now we can see that they were right all along. But we didn't listen. We didn't listen!
Tom
20-08-07
New picture up. If you're easily offended by the concept of wife-beating, then good news! It has nothing to do with wife-beating.
Tom
16-08-07
New picture up. It concerns the true story of a holy talking sausage. The Vatican COMMANDS you to see it.
Interestingly, web opinion of WFHIT? is deliciously polarised. Like marmite, you either love us or you hate us. Some of you may try to love AND hate us, but you people have bigger things to worry about than a web-comic.
Tom
07-08-07
New picture up. It is for sadistic people and also for people who find sadistic people amusing. If neither of these applies to you, LOOK AWAY, lest your eyes burn and your fingers turn to spandex.
Tom
04-08-07
I'm taking advantage of this lull in cyber-frottage to scan and upload a new Doodle. It is an informative poster, the likes of which Gordon Brown would do well to save and print out to stick on his bedroom wall. Therefore, in the interests of national security, I present you with a big old version of it, for posterin'. If you want a still-larger version (perhaps to paper your house with), you can get the original by emailing us at freshhellcontact@googlemail.com. Be warned though; it's chuffing massive.
Tom
02-08-07
Hallo. You might be wondering why there has been no flurry of activity within the last week or so. This is because Will has moved house, and has no internet with which to send me lovely pictures. As I have all the artistic talent of a paraplegic underwater, I'm afraid we'll all have to wait until he's back online, which could be anytime from today. However, we have a couple of long-ish comics almost ready to use, and no doubt Will's been furtively scribbling away amid the move too. Perhaps he has drawn a cockroach stripper. Perhaps he has not.
Tom
26-07-07
New picture up. Nudity is the highest form of wit. It's true! When God goes to cocktail parties, he glues a little afro and some booglie eyes onto his end and does Huggie Bear impressions with it.
FACTOID.
Will
25-07-07
Introduction of the news section! I expect that the news today consisting of the creation of this news section is post-modern, or something.New Doodle up. It concerns cats. I love cats, personally, but don't tell that to Battersea, or they'll batter me.
We occasionally toss about the idea of making T-shirts, but we don't need to when Christians will do it for us. I'm pretty sure that this counts as a ringing endorsement of this site... by GOD.
More coming soon!
Tom
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
All images and work ©2006-2007 Will Elliott and Tom Nash. Any similarity to or use of persons, fictional or otherwise, is in parody. Please don't sue us.
WFHIT can be found in the listings of OnlineComics.net.
